"Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by another human being. Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light."
Couples hold a special place in my heart. My goal in couples counseling is to work toward bringing curiosity back into your relationship so you can see each other through a fresh new lens. We will unpack the stress you feel as a couple and look for ways to strengthen your commitment. Together, we will work to find the right communication to support your feelings of loss, love or lack of connection.
Effective communication is key. You may be holding back before presenting your thoughts to your partner, waiting until you are more confident. Withholding your true feelings can make your partner feel shut out or lonely in the relationship. Perhaps you are a reactive communicator and your style is more impulsive. This can further alienate your partner and make them feel unsafe. I will help you bring out your feelings in a safe environment so you can communicate on a more intimate level.
Some of the issues we can work on in couples counseling are:
Trust Issues - All couples experience ebb and flow in their relationships, but when one has had an affair or is on the verge of having one, it can suck the air out of the relationship. Even if infidelity has not occurred, trust may be broken or compromised. Trust issues are the most common reason couples seek therapy, and I can help you to restore the bond of trust necessary to sustain your partnership.
Considering Separation or Divorce - Although nearly 50 percent of marriages in the United States end in divorce, it is my experience that most couples that come into therapy want to stay together. We will use couples reparative work to understand what went wrong so you can find the courage to talk openly about your feelings and move toward rekindling your commitment to one another.
Choosing to Divorce - For couples who have tried reconnecting to discover that the love just isn't there any longer, divorce may be the best option. At that point, an amicable divorce becomes the goal of couples counseling. A divorce may be more than the two of you can negotiate alone, especially if you have children. Together we will establish relationship rules and define healthy boundaries so you can each maintain your dignity throughout the process. Couples therapy will give you the space to speak your truth and negotiate your split in an honest and respectful manner.